Personal

Jealousy-Goggles

Tonight I’m going to briefly write about something that I have struggled with for over a year now and something that I feel as if many people as well struggle with, some on a daily basis.

I’m going to talk about jealousy-goggles.

Sometimes I get very jealous. It’s hard not to when my every day involves watching co-workers on social media having the time of their lives on boats in Capri or walking around old towns in Romania. This month has been especially difficult as I’ve sat on reserve in Houston for what feels like a very long time (almost two weeks). But as I am now going back onto “Off days” and will soon be making my way back to my hometown where I can see my family, friends, and cats, I am forcing myself to look at my life with a different perspective. Instead of living with jealousy goggles, I am reflecting on the moments in my own life that I feel very fortunate to have experienced. It’s all about perspective. Sure, it sucks when you aren’t used for work, but it’s not always going to be sunshine and Tokyo.

This doesn’t just happen in the aviation business, but in every day life. With the huge constant presence that social media has in our lives, we are all infinity tied to one another (if we so choose to be). It is not uncommon for many of us, including myself, to start off our days reviewing Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, etc. to see what in people’s lives we’ve missed overnight.

Being tied to one another’s social media accounts can be a good thing sometimes. It can be inspiring, motivating, and knowledgeable just as a “Dream board” you would hang on your wall. I vision myself living the life of a successful travel writer, a determined creative director, and a creative, persistent photographer. I’ll scroll through feeds and see work that one day I hope to live up to.

The moment that becomes self-destructive is when we stop feeling inspired and turn our perspective into that of jealousy and resentment. The last two weeks have been an on going battle for me as I work to be okay with the situation I am currently in. For those that work 9-5 jobs, they may jealously look at those that post a new photo every day of a new place. For those that are constantly moving, they may jealously look to those that post about security and stability. The point is, one might want what the other has. One might want what many others have.

This post is mainly for myself as I have had to sit down, revisit old Facebook albums, and rethink my perspective on life. Yes, it has been slow for me for a little while, but no that does not mean that life stops. Really, it just took a reality-slap and a good, hard look at my past (and a look into my future) to finally feel okay with where I am again.

So, dear reader, if this makes any sense to you, and if you understand how I feel, listen when I say: Take off those damn jealousy-goggles. You have things that people want. You have goals to work for. Your life does not pause or stop because you don’t have it all. And, I think you’re pretty cool already. So make a list of things that make you proud; it doesn’t have to be full of fancy, expensive shit. It can be anything that makes you smile and makes you feel good for experiencing it.

Read more for mine. I’ve gotten to do cool shit outside work and because of work. I need to remember this more often

Jumped out of an airplane with Luca.

The moment leading up to it was a silent, slow passing. The actual jumping was 10 times stronger than a roller coaster but seconds later completely peaceful. IMG_4746
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Saw Taylor Freaking Swift

Seriously, still so many thanks to my sister Amanda for taking me to her concert last year. I’m still fan-girling so hard. Also, we all need to just be best friends and have cat dates.

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Skiing in Aosta, Italy with my love

Note to self: buy a weather proof ski jacket. The jacket I was wearing literally turned into ice this day. It made for some intense giggling as we froze our butts off on the ski lift. Luca was my hero many, many times this day. For starters, for giving me the opportunity to finally see snow that season to literally saving me from drowning in piles of snow after I fell one too many times.

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Dune bugging and Camel Playing in Abu Dhabi

See, I can’t complain too much cause I got to play with actual camels on a layover! Between almost getting car sick while we (so intensely) rode the dunes and taking many selfies with these amazing creatures, this day so worth reflecting on.

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Family vacations in Ruidoso. Studying in Caen, France. Memories with best friends. Snorkeling in Guam. Carnival in Spain. Sunny days with Luca in Florida. Texas A&M.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

I could continue, but y’all get the point. Make a list that makes you happy and look back at it when you’re feeling those goggles slipping back on.

Also huge shout out to Cecy, Kris, and Peter for hanging out with me and making Houston fun. Alsooooo huge shout out to my mom and Luca for listening to me complain over and over again and helping me get through the stress.

Live courageously and wholeheartedly always,

-Mary

 

 

 

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