Writing

Thinking About Home

I have been facing a deep struggle lately. I spend my life in a metal tube in the sky. Often I cannot differentiate my days as they begin to blur together after the third hotel room. All Hilton, DoubleTrees, Marriotts look the exact same. I text the ones I love, but it isn’t at all the same as a physical touch. I miss coming home to a house that feels like an actual home. 

So I’ve been thinking about that word a lot lately. What it means to me to have a home. Well, I’m going to share it with you and hopefully afterward, I can begin to visualize it again into my future.

I have many roots in many grounds around the world. I am spread out amongst beaches, scattered along wide, open Texas roads, emotionally stamped onto a special person. Home is a Texas sunset, brilliant and vivid. It is the distinct salty air of South Padre Island across from the Tiki, my favorite childhood vacationing condominium. It is listening to country music at Saturday mass with my family while Father Roy speaks about his “dear ol’ boat”. It is having home made chocolate cake in the kitchen because mom knows how much I love it. It is being sticky and sweaty because humidity hugs me like an old friend. Home is deep conversations with Rey and Brianda that help me feel better about life. It is my home town that I fought so hard to leave and miss every day that I’m away.

It is in every destination that I allow myself to feel something in. It is in the Green Grotto in Capri that I swam in freezing water through. It is in Paris, with rosy cheeks and sore ankles because I wore the wrong shoes once again. It is in hostels where my friends and I felt alive (and poor). It is in Ireland along the windy cliffs that introduced me to international travel. In Seattle because I wanted to fit in with its hip-photo-loving vibe for so long. It is in every cup of café américain sans sucré that I ordered in Caen. In so many other beautiful, memorable destinations that I have gotten to go to, with this flight attendant life and outside of it. But how can I even explain what home feels so strongly like to me right now, as I write this on another airplane?

It is warmth. It is a constant, so satisfying warmth that is created through the perfect long awaited moment. It is everything I feel the moment distance is over. It is never ending laughter because in reality, we’re both idiots. It is being on that airplane with you. It is every embrace, every goodnight kiss, every “I love you, too.”

Home isn’t just one place for me. It may not be for you either. My boards are built along vast valleys, underneath star-filled skies, amongst the waves, and on top of mountains. They are secured by unknowing kind strangers, by those that know and love me, and by my past selves. I will live in these homes for the rest of my life. Right now, I am looking forward to going home. 

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List

I get to go home….eventually!

I am counting down the days until I’m headed back to Houston. It isn’t exactly “home” (south Texas is and Tampa feels more like a home than Houston), but I have a bed and all of my things in a brick house near the airport. Ah, my things. Does anyone else ever miss their stuff when they’re gone? I miss my pillows, my clean clothes, and all of my knickknacks that I’ve collected these past two years.
I am even excited to do the mundane list of errands like finally going to the dentist and doctor. Plus, I’m basically out of every toiletry item and my appearance is starting to show it. And, oh my gosh, I cannot wait to put on my retainer. I know it’s going to hurt like no other but one month is too long to not wear it! I learned my lesson never to forget it again!

So below is my, probably terribly boring to you, list of activities that I am excited for when I finally make it back to my temporary home of Houston, Texas. Ah, 5 more days.

  1. First, a deep, deep deep deep deep deep deep face wash.
  2. A much needed haircut.
  3. I might even treat myself to a mani pedi (god knows I need it)
  4. Buying all the items I’m out of (origins night cream specifically)
  5. LAUNDRY
  6. Cleaning my room because, let’s get real, I left it a mess.
  7. A visit to half-priced books (yay)
  8. Developing my first roll of film!
  9. Trying on my new swimsuits!!
  10. The dentist appointment I’ve been rescheduling for months.
  11. A doctors appointment to figure out why I’m breaking out in hives so often.
  12. Ordering new contacts.
  13. Buying new curtains for my room. (I’m really trying to make it feel more home-y)
  14. Lounging around in my own bed (ahh)
  15. TRIPS TO TARGET
  16. Spending all day outside (and not having to wear five layers and my huge red jacket)
  17. Spring shopping (my body is ready)
  18. And of course, hopefully seeing my dear sisters and the love of my life. Fingers crossed. I am so close to being homesick right now…but as long as I do my job correctly and stay focused on the end goal I’ll be alright. I can do it!

Xoxo Mary

P.s. Can spring hurry up and get here already?

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Personal

Back To My Roots

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And it was my birthday! I am now a 23-year-old cat loving international flight attendant from South Texas. I am constantly searching something bigger but always appreciative of what’s around me and what I have. I’m a beach baby that loves being in the snow, too. I guess I’m pretty normal. I am one of three sisters and yes, we all look alike but have very different and strong personalities. My parents are the root, the strongest bonding that we owe everything to. I try to breathe in more outside air than recycled, but sometimes that isn’t quite possible. I met the love of my life through work on the hardest and longest flying days I’ve done this last year. I’m a jack of all trades and master of none. I think that’s okay. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing in life, but I think that’s okay, too. I’m not exactly sure if I rock at packing a suitcase yet or not…oh well. But anyway, this post is supposed to be about my birthday shenanigans. So let’s begin:

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